


Finding a new home

by FPwoper



Series: SPN Kink Bingo 2021 [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Jimmy Novak are Twins, Character Death, Grief, Guilt, M/M, Sneaky Sex, Somnophilia, Twincest, claire is an ADULT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 11:55:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30038331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FPwoper/pseuds/FPwoper
Summary: After Amelia dies in a horrible car crash, Jimmy doesn’t know what to do anymore, so he turns to his brother, the one person who’s always been able to help him.SPN Kink Bingo: Free space (somnophilia)
Relationships: Castiel/Jimmy Novak (Supernatural)
Series: SPN Kink Bingo 2021 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110893
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8
Collections: SPN Kink Bingo 2021





	Finding a new home

**Author's Note:**

> This fic snuck up on me and then suddenly wanted out. This was supposed to be 2k max fluff, but it turned out to be a little longer. Anyway, enjoy!  
> (The character death is given away in the summary, so don't worry about it :) )
> 
> This fic is a fill for the SPN Kink Bingo: free space
> 
> This fic has not been proofread. All mistakes are my own.

The day Jimmy is called at work, he knows something has gone horribly wrong. He’s had the feeling all day, and so he’s… he’s not quite as surprised as he probably should have been. Instead of feeling grief, instead of _feeling at all_ , he’s just numb after he hears his wife has died in a car crash. A horrific one, according to the police officer who calls him. They urge him to come over to the hospital, to pick up his _daughter who survived the crash_ , and all Jimmy can do is stare blankly at his computer screen for another 30 minutes or so before he gets himself together a little, throws on a jacket, picks up the stuff he needs, and steps into his own car.

He doesn’t even realise he’s shivering until he arrives at the hospital. He distantly thinks that that must be the shock setting in, but he’s still mostly feeling numb. He doesn’t quite remember how he got to the hospital, but he got there safe and sound, and that’s currently all that counts. He needs to go take care of Claire, that’s the only thought that’s going through his mind at this point. He needs to take care of Claire, and he’ll figure out how he feels later.

In the hospital, they take him to identify Amelia first. They tell him that Claire had been yelling that it really was her mother, that she couldn’t just mistake someone who’d been sitting next to her in the car for a random stranger, she _knew_ it was her mother, but they’d told her that an adult needed to identify them, and Jimmy knew exactly how Claire felt at that point. She’d turned 18 a few months ago, and so she was mostly an adult, although the authorities still thought different, apparently.

Jimmy looks at the mangled corpse of his wife, confirms it’s her, and then walks out of the room again. He doesn’t feel anything, still, but it’s starting to settle in that this is real, not just a bad joke or something. He’s not sure what to think, and when Claire burrows into his arms, crying and crying and crying, he knows that not feeling anything probably isn’t the way to go.

Claire then turns into his first priority. His entire life is on hold. He’s glad Amelia’s family jumps into action to organise the funeral and everything around it, because he and Claire are mostly sitting in the living room of their shared house, not doing anything but cry or watch the places where Amelia used to be just a few days ago. It doesn’t even quite land when they’re standing in the church, watching her coffin being put in front of the altar, or when it’s let down into the plot they bought years ago. Jimmy watches without shedding a tear, and he can only stare, eyes sightless, as he buries the woman he married just over eighteen years ago. He’d never expected this to happen, but then again… how can you ever prepare for losing a loved one?

Eventually, it’s Claire who jostles him from the just-existing phase he’s been in, by telling him that she’s moving out because she can’t handle being in the space inhabited by Amelia any longer. She moves in with Jody and Donna, and Jimmy just nods as she packs her stuff.

“If you sell the house, I won’t be mad,” she whispers to Jimmy when hugging him goodbye. “Please take care of yourself. Move in with Cas for a bit, or something.”

Jimmy nods again and then sits himself down on the couch. It doesn’t take him long to notice that the reason he kept going was Claire, and now that she’s gone, now that she’s taking care of herself, he slides off day by day. He doesn’t go into work anymore – they understand, they said to take all the time he needs but still, he feels vaguely guilty because it’s busy and he’s not even trying anymore – and he hardly ever picks up the phone. Unless it’s Claire calling, he lets it ring without a care in the world.

A few weeks later, Cas comes by. His twin wrinkles his nose as he enters the house, and Jimmy is suddenly ashamed of the state in which the house must be. He hasn’t done anything since Amelia died, now almost a month ago. It must reek. There must be dishes stacked up everywhere. If he even ate. Jimmy doesn’t remember. He barely remembers if he moved at all since Claire left the house, and when exactly that happened.

“Jimmy,” Cas says, smiling sadly at him as soon as he finds him. Jimmy looks at Cas, sees how sad he looks, how much pity there is in his eyes, and suddenly he doesn’t even want to see his twin anymore. He looks away and swallows. It’s the first time since Amelia died that he’s even feeling an emotion, and it’s bordering on guilt.

“Oh Jimmy,” Cas murmurs, and despite clearly signalling with his body language that Jimmy really doesn’t want to be touched, Cas’s arms are soon wrapped around his body. Cas doesn’t say anything else, but as they hug, Jimmy finally allows himself to relax for the first time. His twin is there to take care of him, so he can let go.

Cas’s fingers card through his hair and his other hand is making soothing motions on his back, and Jimmy not only relaxes, but he lets go, allowing himself to _feel_ again. Not just the guilt, although it’s a major part of his feelings right now, because he hasn’t tried to take care of Claire, he hasn’t even tried to keep the house in good order… he’s let so many things drop to the floor while withdrawing into himself. No, right now he’s also feeling sadness for the first time, like the grief is finally setting in. In Cas’s arms, he cries for the first time in a month, sobs wracking his chest and tears leaking onto Cas’s soft shirt. He can’t seem to stop himself, but Cas doesn’t say anything, doesn’t seem to judge. He just allows Jimmy to cry, without any judgment.

Cas is the one who helps Jimmy move on, even if it’s in bits and pieces. He asks how Claire is doing, how Jimmy’s been supporting her, if he wants to do more, or less, or whether he’s ready to pick up some of Amelia’s stuff. Jimmy moves in with Cas, in his small-but-cosy apartment, and Jimmy feels at home for the first time in a long while. They share a bed, cuddle every night, and it feels like they’re reliving their childhood again. Cas always took care of him, no matter what happened, and now he’s back at it, but… with even more care and love.

Jimmy slowly goes back to work, just one day at first, then more and more as he feels ready to tackle a bigger workload. He decides, with Claire, that he does want to sell the house he’s lived in for the past eighteen years. It just reminds him of Amelia, and he’s not ready yet to face her or her memory on the daily. He’s basically moved in with Cas anyway, and he’s not willing to give up that small sliver of peace and quiet in his life. Claire wants to live with Jody and Donna, and he lets her. She’s an adult, after all, and she should get to decide whatever she wants to do.

They make clearing out the house a father-daughter week. They donate a lot of stuff, mostly Amelia’s things and Claire’s old clothes, but also a lot of furniture that neither of them want to keep. It feels strange, and many tears are shed, but they feel better when, at the end of the week, Amelia’s parents come help them clean the house. They laugh and cry, and it feels like they’re finally ready to move on. Jimmy is not sure if he’ll see Amelia’s parents often after this, but he suddenly realises that it feels freeing, and it makes him feel guilty.

The house is sold in no time, and then Jimmy officially lives with Cas. While Cas’s apartment is small and cosy, it’s got enough space to house the both of them. Technically, Jimmy could claim the other room as his own, but he prefers the warmth of his twin’s body next to him at night, and Cas likes working from home sometimes, and so they decide to make the second room into an office slash spare bedroom. The bed only barely fits but the only person who’ll be in there is Claire, and she doesn’t care either way.

When the twins were younger, they’d… explore together. Anything, really. They’d try and help the other get over fears, to feel more supported, and to explore their bodies. When Cas told Jimmy he was gay, Jimmy felt a spark of… something, and he never quite acted on that spark. Everything they did together, they told each other (and themselves) was to prepare for the future, for other partners… but Cas never found another partner, while Jimmy got married to Amelia after knocking her up with Claire. It was an unfortunate accident with one of the best outcomes of his life, but Jimmy always kept thinking about Cas and his loneliness, wondering whether he could do something about it.

Now that they are back in the same bed, Jimmy’s thoughts stray more often towards the topic of his twin. They started out innocently – what if Jimmy is ruining chances of Cas being with someone by staying in his bed – but are now turning more and more towards the dark corners he didn’t dare touch before. They never discussed what happened in their shared bedroom before Jimmy moved out, and sometimes Jimmy thinks that it might actually be time to start one day. Because he wants to talk to Cas about it, about what it did to him then and what it’s currently doing for him. Waking up every morning in bed with his twin has made him horny again. He _wants_ Cas, but he’s not sure how to tell him that. Besides, it feels like he’s betraying Amelia, because she’s been dead for less than a year and he’s already ready to hump the next warm body that comes along. It might be his twin (look, even more taboo stuff for her to frown upon), but it still feels like betrayal for his body to move on this quickly.

Jimmy is surprised when it takes several weeks of him jerking off on his own, quickly and as quietly as he can, after Cas has left the bed to go to work before Cas finally catches him in the act. Jimmy’s notoriously bad at being quiet while being pleasured (even if he’s the one bringing himself pleasure), and while he might have an exhibitionist streak, he’s not sure if he wanted Cas to catch him. But Cas just sits him down and tells him that it’s natural that his body wants something else, and Jimmy is both comforted and a little confused because he thought he was moaning Cas’s name, but that might not have happened. Or Cas chose to ignore it, which was equally bad because it meant that Cas didn’t want him.

But now that Jimmy’s libido was out in the open, he gave up on being sneaky. He just… goes for it and gets off whenever he wants to. It’s strangely liberating, and Cas pretends that he doesn’t notice, and it’s also a little weird. Jimmy didn’t realise that he felt stifled with Amelia until she died, and now he’s finally blossoming again. Look, nothing against Amelia, but they didn’t exactly mesh well on the sexual playing field, so to say. They fucked maybe once a month, often less, and neither Amelia nor Jimmy enjoyed it a lot – they both knew it but never discussed it. He wasn’t sure what Amelia did to get herself off, but Jimmy often denied himself, and now that he’s living with Cas and his mound of dildos, Jimmy is having the time of his life. Even though Cas might not be doing anything with him, Cas’s dildos are often in his ass and Jimmy is enjoying it a lot. He’s known that he’s not straight for a long while, probably since before Amelia, but because Amelia was so religious, he never told her. Jimmy never thought that losing his wife would be liberating in any sense, but looking back on his marriage, it was… plain and boring and loveless, as if all the love they had was focused on Claire.

Apart from his sexual discoveries, the increase in libido, and the fact that he loves being with Cas again, he also discovers that he likes cooking a lot. So one night, he makes Cas an elaborate dinner, sets the table with candles and all that supposedly romantic shit, and goes to town expressing that he likes Cas without actually having to say the words. They sit down for dinner, and Cas is quiet and a little sad throughout, not quite what Jimmy expected. So he decides it’s time for words, instead. However, Cas beats him to it before he can even open his mouth.

“I’m not a replacement for Amelia, Jimmy,” he says.

It throws Jimmy, and all he can do is stare at Cas in disbelief. “I… what?”

“I get that you’re still working through your loss,” Cas says, voice heavy. “But I can’t be a replacement for her, one that you heap your affection on because you can’t do it with her anymore.”

“Sorry. What?”

“Jimmy, you’ve been… you’ve been acting like I’m her. Flaunting yourself and your sexual prowess,” – here Cas flushed before continuing – “asking me on dates, and now you’re making me dinner?” He sighs and looks down towards his plate. “It’s not like I’m not appreciative, because I definitely am, but… I feel like you’re not coping, just projecting.”

Jimmy blinks for a second, and he knows Cas is going to talk again soon if he doesn’t get a word in now, so he does. “That’s not… that’s not what I’ve been doing, Cas.”

“Excuse me?” Now it’s Cas who’s speechless, and Jimmy takes that moment to continue talking.

“Look, you’re right in the sense that I am… I _wasn’t_ coping very well. But you’ve helped me past that, and this is all me genuinely being grateful _and attempting to woo you_. Fuck, Cas, I’ve been wanting you to fuck me for the past few weeks and it’s getting increasingly difficult to not just open myself up in the morning and sit on your erections when you wake up.” Jimmy flushes and licks his lips at his own admission. He didn’t quite want to drop that bombshell like this, but he needs to get it out now. “Amelia and I never quite got along like everyone thought we would. We had a relationship in high school, sure, but the reason we married and stayed together was because her parents found out she was pregnant and we _had_ to get married to avoid a scandal in her church. She was so religious and didn’t want to make her parents mad, so we did. But… well, it didn’t take long for me to figure out that we weren’t compatible beyond caring for Claire. If Claire hadn’t been born, we’d probably have divorced years ago. Claire was literally the one thing we shared, but we kept up appearances for everyone. I felt stifled, Cas, and it was difficult sometimes.”

Cas gets up, walks around the tiny dining table, and pulls Jimmy off his chair to move them towards the living room, where they cuddle on the couch.

“I’m not sure what to do with this information,” Cas says softly, hand on Jimmy’s back. “It’s a lot.”

“It definitely is,” Jimmy replies. “I didn’t know I wanted to tell you this until I started. But the long and short of it is… I’m serious about wooing you.” Jimmy’s eyes widen. “Shit, I didn’t even tell you that I…” Jimmy flushes and casts his eyes down.

“That you what?” Cas asks, voice soft and caring. When Jimmy doesn’t reply and just licks his lips, Cas puts a finger under Jimmy’s chin to make him look up. Their eyes connect and Jimmy feels like he’s drowning. Cas is sincere and wants to know, and Jimmy knows that his twin won’t judge him for his wants and needs.

“That I fell in love with you before I even married Amelia,” Jimmy whispers, and that’s apparently what drags Cas over the edge. Suddenly, they are kissing, and Jimmy is pushed flat onto the couch. He allows Cas to take charge and just enjoys the kiss.

“I knew when I was twelve,” Cas admits between kisses. Jimmy simply smiles and kisses him again. “And I don’t think we’re quite done talking about this yet, Jimmy.”

“No more talking for now, though?”

Cas laughs, throwing his head back. “For now, that’s been enough talking. But we do need to discuss that fantasy that you had, okay?”

Three days later, Jimmy wakes up with an erection and a strange feeling. His arms are wound around Cas, clutching him tightly, and he feels a weird sensation around his cock. When he looks down his own body, he gasps and jerks forward without meaning to, which elicits a moan from Cas.

Because Cas’s hand is on his cock and Cas’s hole is fluttering around his cock and fuck, Jimmy’s brain just short-circuits, he can’t help it. It’s been one of his dreams for so long, and now Cas is… he’s about to fuck Cas. Although Cas is clearly in control, it’s his dick going in and oh man, he’s not sure if he’s even going to last long enough for Cas to get something out of it.

As soon as Cas notices that he’s awake, he rolls him over onto his back and mounts him properly, kissing Jimmy softly. “Morning,” he whispers, before sinking all the way down. All Jimmy can do is moan and enjoy the sensation of his brother’s tight hole around his erection. Cas presses soft kisses all over his face while he settles, and Jimmy gasps as Cas starts moving. It feels good, so good, and it doesn’t take long before he’s on the verge of coming.

“Cas…”

“Yes Jimmy?” Cas says, face straight but cheeks flushed. Jimmy knows that Cas is close, too, but he’s not willing to show that to him just yet. “Is something the matter?” Jimmy wonders how Cas can keep himself together so well, continually fucking himself down on Jimmy’s dick without moaning or whimpering. Jimmy would be a mess in Cas’s position.

“So close,” Jimmy gasps.

Cas licks his lips and bends over, bringing his lips close to Jimmy’s ear. “Then come, brother. Come for me.” Cas sits up again and pushes himself up before dropping down.

And Jimmy does. He bucks up, squeezes his eyes shut, and groans as he comes long and hard into his brother’s hole. It’s only then that he realises they’ve forgone condoms, and he wants to say something, but a wet splatter over his belly makes him forget all about it. He didn’t realise Cas had been that close, and he catches Cas before he falls over into the puddle of his own come, kissing Cas as soon as he comes within kissing distance again.

Cas laughs and apparently doesn’t care about the come that’s going to spread all over his belly and chest and just cuddles up close with Jimmy. They kiss lazily for a minute or so until Cas makes a face and Jimmy feels his cock slip out of Cas’s body, and then they roll over and move back into each other’s arms.

“We should probably get up and take a shower,” Cas says, running a finger through the come on Jimmy’s chest. “This will get nasty.”

Jimmy hums. “We probably should. In a minute, okay? You’ve woken me up, I’m not quite functioning just yet.”

“You’re never functioning in the morning,” Cas mock-complains, and it makes Jimmy laugh. He kisses his twin again and then just stares at him for a minute. He must look like that heart-eye emoji or something because Cas pushes his face away with a chuckle and then he gets up. “I’m going to take a shower, feel free to join me, but _do not fall asleep again_.”

“Sure, sweetheart,” Jimmy says. He props himself up on an elbow to watch Cas’s swaying ass move into the bathroom. Cas’s ass is already looking gross – there’s semen all over his thighs – but Jimmy is sure that Cas doesn’t mind that much. He should definitely go follow his brother and help clean him. But he’s going to do that in a minute. For now, he’s just going to be glad for a minute that Cas loves him so much, and that he’s found a new home after losing his previous one. A much better one, even.

He wonders what Claire would think if they ever told her. Jimmy snorts at himself for thinking that, then gets up to go join his brother in the shower. Best keep this new home to himself for a bit before he starts sharing it with others.


End file.
